Brief
Idle Hearts was a story that I originally wrote back in 2018. I decided to rewrite it and record myself reading it. Hope you enjoy it!
Original story: https://tapas.io/episode/1135487
Audio and Text
I hear the clacking of cans and crunch of instant noodles. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I lean against the wall. First, my hand slips, my arm gives way, then my legs. I slide down the wall with a thud.
Ian rushes to my side. “Amy! Are you okay!?” he exclaims.
I yawn. “I’m fine Ian. Just… Sleepy. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work by now?”
“Just look outside.” He points to the window caked in ice and snow. Even the sun could barely pierce the frost. “We’re trapped. No lights and no heat. But it’s a beautiful frozen wonderland out there.”
“Guess we gotta bundle up, snuggle, and tell horror stories until this blows over,” I grin. “Gramps always knew the best ones, especially that snow fairy one. Chills!”
A smirk escapes his calm demeanor. “Yeah, he would be laughing at us right now. We don’t even have running water right now. And don’t tell that story, I still have nightmares.”
Laughter fills the freezing air. Movement fills the small flat as we collect whatever warmth, water, and food we could find. Blankets and pillows, bottles and wine, cans and cake. We were not ready for something like this. A guy, a girl, and Abigail the Feline Queen of our humble abode.
However, there is a catch. I’m only here because we couldn’t afford to split up. I mean, we are only roommates. If we split now, I would not have a place to stay. But, he already has someone else. When my eyes meet his, all I see is distance, no matter how warm and welcoming his smile appears to be. If only I was gone, I tell myself. There isn’t room for me between him and her.
“Purr.” Abigail rubs against my leg, her tiny pink cowboy hat barely on.
“Come on girl,” I protest, barely holding onto the boxes of canned soup and boxed macaroni. The fifteen-pound furball kept at it. And eventually, the rest was history with a loud crash.
“Are you alright Amy?” Ian shoves away the dented cans and mountain of C-shaped noodles. “She got you again it looks like.” He grins, I wince.
Looking up at the ceiling, I ask, “Why don’t you ask me to leave?”
“Where did that come from? Besides, it’s a frozen wasteland out there.”
I face him. “That’s not what I meant. Why don’t you ask me to leave so that you can be with your girlfriend?”
He looks away and sighs. Ian’s hand runs through the pile of noodles, “Because I don’t want you to leave.” His eyes meet mine. Smiling, he says, ”It’s complicated. But what’s not complicated is that you’re my friend, my best friend in fact. We’ve been together longer than I can remember even with this goldfish brain of mine.”
We giggle, but the temporary silliness vaporizes.
Ian continues, “We both know why you’ve stuck around. We’re like family. We’ve got each other’s back. But, some things have changed Amy. Things have gotten difficult. You and I–”
My eyes search for meaning in the frozen window panes. “Of course. Of course! I’m just in the way, making things difficult.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
The tears paint my clothes, making them darker with every drop and me lonelier with every passing moment. “Stop– just stop.”
Ian leans back against the wall.
A silence consumes the apartment. I couldn’t say I loved him soon enough and so someone took him from right next to me. He was trying to keep a friend while in love. Instead, we now sit idle. We sit idle as the frost and cold consumes every inch it can; room by room until it reaches us.
Abigail prances around, the only sound for what seems like eons. Eventually nestling on my lap, between my freezing arms and frozen tears.
Ian pets Abigail. “If it’s about that girl, you don’t need to worry. We’re history. But that’s not what’s been keeping me occupied.”
I rub my eyes. “What? Wait, that doesn’t make sense.”
Ian opens a can of tuna to feed Abigail. “What do you mean? We didn’t work out.”
“It can’t be that simple.”
Ian pulls out his lighter and searches for a cigarette but gives up. “Betrayal is an amazing thing, Amy. I learned how petty someone can be. There was a call for me from someone very special. It was the last words I could have heard from that someone and she simply hung up the phone without telling me.” Ian’s eyes began to water, but not a single drop was released. “I could put up with all the other garbage, but that was the last straw.”
I wanted to press more but kept it to myself. “I’m sorry.”
Ian drapes a blanket on my shoulders. “Don’t be. You didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t know you felt this way about me. I always thought you just saw me as your sidekick.”
I scoot closer to Ian and pull on his sleeve. “You’re more than that, Ian.” My hand wants to find his but instead it buries itself in cat fur. “So, that call was what was keeping you occupied I assume.”
Ian leans on me. “This world became a lonelier place, Amy. There’s only you left,” Ian cries.
Leaning on me is one of the strongest men I’ve ever known and yet he is breaking down before my eyes. I wrap my blanket around us. I look up at the ceiling with light and shadow dancing as snow falls outside. “So he’s gone now.”
Ian nods.
“We can’t even see him one last time.”
Ian shakes his head.
“Gramps was always there for us no matter how much we messed up. Even that time we accidentally froze all that beer in his new freezer.”
Ian nods with a grin.
“Or that time we learned Silly String was flammable and lit his bonsai on fire.”
Ian laughs.
“Do you remember that time we went skinny dipping?”
Ian clears his throat. “When those bears claimed our clothes and we ran home buck naked.”
“Yup, covered in pine needles and shame,” I laugh. “Gramps’ face was priceless! His laugh was so loud the neighbors thought something was going on only to laugh their asses off too.”
Ian laces his fingers with mine. Our eyes meet and we kiss.
“I guess that’s it,” I said. I began to chuckle.
Ian turns to me and smiles, “I guess so.” He begins to laugh, his eyes relaxed and warm. “I guess we’re just a little slow and yet so dangerous.” He stands, offering a hand. “Might as well get something warm to eat. We can’t just stay in the hallway all afternoon. You have nowhere to escape from my deadly culinary concoctions.”
I take his hand and reply, “I’m always ready for danger, partner.”